®emula: November 2012

Monday, 03:00
I think it's finally time to tell my mum that I have a gig in Riga, I'm leaving in 2 hours and I'm gonna stay there for a week. Surprisingly, she acts cool as a Shaolin monk, who has just smoked a gram. Fine by me.

05:00
Here we go. Unorganised crime continues. (Typical situation - 2 contestants disqualified from the race the evening before, 1 because of her grandpa's serious health problem and 1 for.. I don't even know. The best reason was me. Anyway, we had to find new ones. And only Kaido accepted this absurd offer - "Yo, let's go to Ams, in 10 hours.") Classic Kaido. Mhhhhhhh.
Nobody knows shit, everybody presumes shit. Hence Mait was late and Kaido had to wait for an extra hour. In Puka... In rain...

"Do you like my new hair?" Mhhhh

Location: Germanys' gas station. (Rem: Gastassió. -> Kaido: "You don't say gas station in France. Nobody understands what's gas there. It's tank station!" Mhhhhh.)

5 minutes after picking Kaido up, we met a nice, friendly deer. He was chilling on the road and wanted to ask some directions to some specific woods, I presume, but Mait thought otherwise. The motherfucker was 5 cm's away from chilling in his own blood, eating some Saab 95's plastic. After a mini heart-attack, releaving laughters, some "MHH's" and thoughts that this trip is gonna be epic difficult, we carried on. For minutes. For hours. For days.

That nice, friendly deer. Fleeing gracefully, like a sir, from our Jefferson Airplane.

My. Dryving. Ratte ant komment wery mucsh! (K)(L).

Location: some epic waterplace, where Riga gets his drinking water? The utmost LeGe camera failed to preserve it on the picture.

Experience.

Location: Polish Highway.

Time to shift drivers, stretch some legs (yeah, yeah, you are really funny) and go to sleep.

Location: Polish road where some fishermen came out from the cornfield with a boat. Looked odd. Pfft, locals.

Location: Germanys' gas station #2. I managed to pay for everything using 100% German language.

"Hallo. Mhmh. Ja! OK! Auf wiedersehn." Mhh. Funny. -.-

Actually, Walt was our 4th passenger. Mhh. Location: cup holder.

I don't know whether my LeGe camera was playing with me or this sign really was that... aerodynamic, modern, sexy, curvy little piece of metal. Anyway, the oh-my-god-how-desired destination was near.

SO! After a 1000 times repeated Danger Danger songs, 100 "Mhh's", and 10 hours of sleep (for some) we were in Amsterdam. It was so beautiful and breathtaking and most importantly, ORIGINAL with all those 1000000 bicycles and canals/rivers. We were sure that we would get run over by at least one, when we would reach the Condition, or, some cycler would have ended up in the river, trying to avoid us. Mhh. And who the fuck said that parking a car in Amsterdam for free is impossible? Gees.
BUT! People there... were negatively different. Everybody was boring and we had nothing to talk about really.
EXCEPT! The cocaine dealers. Oh they just wanted to talk and talk. And talk some more.

But probably the not-talking reason was just us two - ugly, haiiiry "junkies". As in, ANOTHER BUNCH OF FUCKING TOURISTS. Kaido said the locals have had enough of tourists. We just were in the wrong place in the wrong time and with the wrong people. Mhh.

Anyway...

SLAM! After our first legally bought White Widow, we... were... fucked! (We only smoked a micromillimeter) Mait said that he needed some fresh air. I agreed and we went out. (Kaido stayed inside the coffeeshop.) I searched for a bench or something to sit on and when I looked back, Mait was gone. Or was he? I looked harder and there he was, lying on his side, in the middle of Bulldogs doorway, looking into nowhere. I was so fucked up that I couldn't help him. I looked to my right where two locals were sitting and smoking. I don't know WHAT they were thinking, but I sure hoped that their only thought was: "*Sigh, fucking tourists/amateurs. Can't handle shit". I collapsed on the bench, too. I was so fucked that I couldn't even laugh. Luckily, after 2 minutes, we were both sitting on the bench and eating chocolate, because some local chocolate men were about to call the ambulance.. That shit saved the day.
We decided to take it easy from then on, because the quality was "A+" compared to Estonian "F".
FUCK! One hooker, slim, tan and glam Domimi or Mimi or whatever the fuck her name was, was so top notch that she reminded us both that real, real feeling what felt like.. I. Wanna. Fuck. Her. All these professional moves and looks... God....
I wanted to have a closer look at some other babes, which was a really good idea, from far away and with my shortsightedness. When we got closer, their Adam's apples, jaws, eyebrows and noses started to get a bit too big and when our eyes stopped at their panties (should have been pants), it was a bye-bye :). And now. I'm a fucking crooked creep. :)
We stayed in a hostel. Kaido would have been with us (he spent the night on the streets and ferry), if he wouldn't have been such a dick and wouldn't have bought shitload of weed with all his money. Fappy's money, actually. During our stay we got high in our room with a solitary man with his solitary book. We were fucking happy donkies. And we wrote a song! It's still a work in progress. I hope. I mean. Some university BRAINS AND SOUL HAS BEEN USED HERE! A LOT!

"?"

Istun siin Amsterdamis
Kõik on sajebiss :)
Ema helistab, ole tasa!

Lähen lasen väikse pasa

Väljas vedeleb hunnik sitta

Prostid on tõmmanud ennast ritta

Pauk mul püksis käis

Türa ma situn selle hosteli täis!

Aiämsterdami sildi ees

Tegin väikse jobo mees

Ai ära nii palju nalja tee

Mul niigi juba silmad vees

Ühtegi pilve ei ole

Aga kõik on nii pilves

Muru on nii roheline

Mingi roller tegi väikse *pip*

Perfect jobo.

M on m.

Well. Can't really tell much else, because there probably wasn't much else. Well of course there was, but I know what it feels like reading some 16 y.o. girls' blog. I wanna share my favourite memories, not all of them.
Sometime it was time to go back home. No. Let's go to Warsaw instead. Deal-done. And we can see Dominika! On our way, German Krakenhausen Halfenhauer Polizei raided our car. Of course, Bad Luck Kaido got busted with his 4 g's (I think now would be a good time to thank you for a full nude strip for the officers) and we had to spend 24 hours in some hipster parking lot. Parking lot. Parking lot. Parking lot. Parking lot. Can you fucking believe it? A fucking parking lot. And yes, we had to sleep there as well. Talk about hospitality. Luckily there was some restaurant across highway. Across highway. Across highway. Across highway. Talk about irony. Luckily there was a bridge over the highway. Oh boy, were we BORED?! We were so bored that we even watched recent musical "Rock of Ages". All of it. Good God.

Location: our German home.
Warning for red car owners (Especially with Saabs)! Do not carry marijuana with you (or anything else illegal). As you can see, there is no exceptions. Oh and why are the windows of that front Saab so dark? Cause niggers were in it.

When we finally arrived to Warsaw, we finally started to think that this trip was a success after all. We fucking loved it there. People were cool, the city looked really nice (for our taste) and we had one g left. Ha, fuck you too, Halfenhauer boys! Your SnitzelPauer doggie didn't find it in our... Nah, can't tell you.
So we got in the good ol' Condition in the center of town, basically next to the police officers and went to see the town a little.

You see what I mean?

We went to the 43rd floor in some skyscraper. We definetely didn't fit in with people in white bed jackets. It was some health spa floor.

Häm häm.

HRC

Light, goddamit!

GOD DAMMIT! LIGHT ALREADY!

Mmmh.

Girls from Warsaw 2

I decided to look good for a change.

Hur hur, Päula. We so funny. Hur hur.

Location: Rock Cafe. Met this cool fella Zeus from Fine Wine.

I'm talking about Gene Simmons' base guitar.

Out of gaz. Actually it was just another "Do you see smiley face on that object?" picture.

After Rock Cafe and a million beers later, we went to some kind of party elsewhere. Zeus invited us there. After an hour of searching a specific tram nr. 24, when we finally got there, we couldn't get in. Cool. But no probs. Like mainstream songs are mainstream, because there IS a reason for it, Zeus's name is Zeus for a reason too. So 30 minutes later, we were "dancing" like Estoniards from Puurmani 360 degrees, all over the floor, and of course the stage. We didn't even need our shirts. I left the place with some milf and it was an experience. The place her friends owned, was majestetic. It was nice to sleep in a royal bed for a change. So, 'ts it. We left Warsaw the next morning and didn't see Dominika. We Saw War Saw. Still waiting anxiously for total gasoline cost. It's probablly gonna blast like A+ stuff. Like Amsterdam's White Widow.

IF anybody wonders, yes I had a better camera with me. Aga mul oli nii pohhui.